I sent this to Verizon. I will not deny that I needed the assistance of the thesaurus for several of the words. Namely, "superannuated" and "succor".
"My phone is superannuated. The upward directional button has been growing less and less responsive. Last night at work the phone was exposed to copious amounts of perspiration in my pocket, and the downward directional button is now thoroughly non-responsive. It is a vexing quandary of which I am in need of your succor in order to vanquish. I am much obliged."
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