Love is Letting Go.

Thelma has yet to disappoint me. For those who are not aware of a major part of my life, Thelma is my scooter. She is also an instrument of evangelism and spreading Christ's love to others, which is why I have committed to love her. As a result, yesterday I made the difficult decision to retire her for the winter, selflessly surrendering the joy and adventure that she could have provided, and deciding instead to bring her into the safety and comfort of my apartment to rest up for the big summer we have ahead of us, Lord willing. Before her hibernation, though, she did a few things that blew me away one last time.

On December 2, I took Thelma out because she was begging get out and stretch a little. so I ran her over to the Desiring God headquarters, which delighted both rider and scooter alike. I put her up again, waiting for another sunny day when she may want to run around. I would say hi to her and ask her how she was doing whenever I would walk past her (seriously), and I would sometimes start her, just to warm her up and keep her battery charged. If it would snow, I would brush the snow off of her and make sure her engine wasn't buried at all.

But then came this weekend, when the Minneapolis area received 17 inches of snow.

On Sunday I was shoveling for my landlord as all of my neighbors were digging themselves out of their houses. When paths were dug to the doors and cars, I took to the task of rescuing thelma. She was up to her handlebars in a snow drift. I frantically shoveled around her until her engine was clear and hopefully inserted her key and pressed the start button. I was expecting silence, but she gave a few quiet coughs! (my heart rate is definitely picking up as I'm recalling this) I dropped to my knees and began furiously clearing snow and wildly kicking a path to the alleyway where I could set her up. I put her kickstand up and began tugging on the back of her frame, falling and rising again and again, getting closer and closer to the freedom of the alley. Finally I broke through the last bit of packed snow and quickly set her up on her stand, pained that I ever let her get so buried.

I put her key in the ignition one more time and, holding my breath, pressed the starter button. She gave a few more quiet coughs. I held down the starter, audibly encouraging her to turn over. Finally, her coughs grew into a faint, steady combustion of 49 unwavering cc's of loving service. I began laughing very hard and jumping and spinning in the air. When other people's garaged motorcycles had died months earlier, my little Thelma was giving it all she had, and never coming up short.

I held Thelma as she rolled under her own strength to gain some energy. I could tell she was itching to explore this winter wonderland. I spread salt on the sidewalks, glancing back at her as her headlights shone brighter and the color began returning to her. When I was finished, I gently sat in the Honda embossed seat and rocked her forward, off of her stand. I applied a little gas. She died. That's normal. I started her up again and was slower with the turning of the throttle. This time she was ready to react, and let me know she was ready to really go. This was the first time for either of us on snow, so it wasn't very coordinated looking. I decided to get comfortable with a few runs. I did wipe out quickly at the beginning in my parking lot, but I took the damage and protected her. After a few runs in the alley, she and I both began eyeing a snowbank at the end of the alley that opened up into the street. I nursed the throttle until we were going as fast as I could in the back alley, with both feet planted for stability. As we approached the snowbank, neighbors began to stop shoveling to see what this lunatic on the scooter was doing. Just then, I blasted through the snowbank in a flurry of snow into the wide open expanse of the street! I unintentionally spun around two complete rotations before beginning my haphazard careening down the street, with shovelers stopping their work to cheer and holler. (I'm not making any of this up) I zoomed around the neighborhood for a few minutes before doing a few more tight circles and powering through the snowbank one more time, back into my alleyway.

It was at this point that I decided there could not be a better way to end the riding season with Thelma. I quickly laid some towels out in my apartment and propped the doors open. I lifted Thelma up the stairs into the building and carefully guided her down the stairs into my apartment, parking her right by my door. She has now dried off completely, the towels have been removed, and a tarp has been placed over engine to provide some added warmth and to keep her blessed fragrance from filling my rooms. It pains me to know that she will be unrideable until the spring thaw, but I am confident that I made the most love-influenced decision for her, and that is my comfort in these winter months. And whenever I want now, I can play some sappy 80's love ballads on itunes and gaze at her resting there. (already done it.)



Post-script: please don't think I'm making light of love. I take the commitment, action, and cost of love very seriously, and write this merely because it makes me smile. And I truly do rejoice and thank God for the blessing that Thelma has been. I'm also serious that she is a great instrument for sharing the gospel and starting conversations. Lord willing there will be many more opportunities to work with her for His Kingdom.

Stayin' alive

I am in class. I am tired. I haven't slept in 25 hours. We're discussing mind-numbing legal cases. I'm fading in and out of consciousness. This is an attempt to stay awake and not drool on my desk. Vice President is down there in the front row. Mondale. That one. How does a lowly man boast in his exaltation? Whqt does it mean to be under grace, rather thqn under the law? Would you be bothered if you knew the government was tqpping your phone? I should go for a run. I set up my little Christmas tree on Thanksgiving. ..pulling out all the stops for Christmas this year, I guess. It was reqlly warm yesterday. Thelma insisted we go for a ride. I need to do more social experiments. Hard to do without my co-researcher, Nick. I miss Nick. I hope to see him ssjfofoalsfa Woah.. I wonder if the dark night of the soul is legitimate, or just a mystics met idea.. The St. John of the Cross version, anyway. Love. Love is commitment, action, and costly. I have a cut on my left index finger, making it difficult to play certain chords on the guitar. Praise the Lord I'm beginning to get the hang of bar chords. There's mud on my linoleum that I need to clean up when I get home. I like tea. I think i prefer tea over hot chocolate because it's healthier and it's easier to clean up. Saturday night was so much fun. I haven't gone bowling in a while. I need to do my bus ride sometime. I want to meet some homeless guys. I miss Mel Trotter mission. And the camp. Other than people, what do i miss most about Michigan? ... Bible college..reed's lake..oh..the airport overlook.. The j.w. Marriott top floor..having a master key to my college..but I'm so glad im here. Mondale just dropped his lapel mike. That was loud. These folks know so much about politics. How does one not accidentally shoot someone? Practice gun safety and don't aim guns at people. Ever. EVER. Roger Youderian. I like that name. I'm struggling... It really grinds my gears when people start packing up before class is over. It really, truly irritates me. I'm usually pretty passive. But now the rustle is beginning, and my blood pressure is rising. I like my tie. I wore it in Sarah's wedding. I have survived the class period. I have a heated blanket.

Not my thoughts. That's why they're good.

"Satan himself cannot stop us, not sign our death certificate, without the permission of Almighty God."

We'll appreciate your continued intercession. Pray with us that God will, out of the debris of this battle, challenge the hearts of many who still don't know the blessing of all-out abandonment to the Lord Jesus Christ and to the job He wants us to do in simple obedience. The world is dying for want of a Savior-yet so many who profess to love Him are still living 'business as usual' lives, cheating themselves of the 'high calling of God in Christ Jesus.'"

"God only know how often I've had occasion to hate my old cocky nature. I hate it... but I'm grateful that when sanctified it can be a somewhat useful sort of nature."

"God has been so good to us-even counting us able to suffer a little. It's been tough in spots but He has always supplied the needed grace, hasn't He?"

"We know that there is only one answer when our country demands that we share in the price of freedom-yet when the Lord Jesus asks us to pay the price for world evangelization, we often answer without a word. We cannot go. We say it costs too much."

Missionaries constantly face expendability. And people who do not know the Lord ask why in the world we waste our lives as missionaries. They forget that they too are expending their lives. They forget that when their lives are spent and the bubble has burst they will have nothing of eternal significance to show for the years they have wasted."

"Those who know the joy of leading a stranger to Christ... gladly count themselves expendable. And they count it all joy."

-All quotes were written by Nate Saint in the months after surviving a bad plane crash.

Heated Blanket

My parents decided to surprise me by sending me a heated blanket. I was initially excited, but as I set the blanket up, I realized something. I am no longer a young single man.
I am an 80 year old man.
I go for long walks several times a day, often staring at simple things and smiling, especially little children and dogs.
Everyone around me is much younger than I am.
I talk to inanimate objects. Like scooters.
I sit in my recliner with a cup of tea and listen to classical music while reading a good book.
I cut coupons and wander around the grocery store in a daze, totally lost.
I stare the multitude of options of yogurt and frozen pizza, but I never buy any.
I always check my receipt to see how much savings I had. If I had young grandkids, that's the sort of thing I'd write a letter about.
I stand in my kitchen and debate what I should make for dinner, before usually settling on something very, very simple.
I eat my meal, wash and dry my dishes, and do some further thinking and reminiscing.
If I'm very ambitious, I walk down my hall to check my mail, thereby constituting a productive day. It's usually empty.
I observe the weather regularly, checking the forecast at least 4 times a day.You can bet I'll be relaying it to my grandkids.
I have a hat with ribbons on it that proclaims that I'm a war veteran. Only 80 year old men have those hats.
I sit next to a 93 year old lady in church. We're practically the same age.
Soon, I'll own the clock that projects onto the ceiling so I can know when I woke up in the night. Which, of course, would be more great material to write to the grandkids.
I like to put jigsaw puzzles together.
On an average day I have more conversations with squirrels than I do with human beings. Sometimes the conversations become heated.
80 year old ladies (peers) at Ihop flirt with me.

I'm going to go to bed, but not before going to the bathroom, brushing my teeth, making it to my bed, and then going back to go to the bathroom again just to be safe.

I have a heated blanket.

I love life.

Romans 14:22-23

"The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin."

Honor. Courage. Commitment. Always Faithful.

"Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel, and not frightened in anything by your opponents. This is a clear sign to them of their destruction, but of your salvation, and that from God." Philippians 1:27-28

This text has had me thinking about an oft-debated topic in my thoughts.

As I stated early on in this blog experiment of mine, I'm not seeking to make this an opinion blog. These are my thoughts. They are not complete or inerrant. They are not absolute truth, even in my heart. Iron sharpens iron. I think It's important to discuss and talk through issues with like-minded people. So these are my thoughts. Let the reader beware.

The section of the passage that has me thinking about fear and courage and whatnot is "not frightened in anything by your opponents." Based on my past experiences, words like 'opponents' and 'destruction' may conjure up some different ideas and images than others. Or perhaps not. Wars and violence do seem to have permeated culture, affecting more than just those who are personally involved.
Anyway, what are the usual lauds and praises that military personnel receive? "You're one of the brave ones." "You're so courageous."

If my thought had a thesis, it would be this: Wars are incepted (is that even a word?), birthed, and driven by fear. If we're speaking about not being frightened, we won't often find it in violent conflicts. How fearless is it to walk everywhere with an automatic weapon? That's more paranoia than a lack of fear.

A few examples to illustrate this point.. Let's say you and I are hanging out, and you are beginning to realize how irritating I am, and you suddenly feel compelled to punch me in the face. So you rear back and deliver a sweeping haymaker punch to my jaw. I can react two ways. With fear, or without. A fear-driven reaction would be to pick myself up off the floor, and dive after you. The punching and grappling would carry on, accomplishing nothing but placing intense animosity between us. A fearless reaction would be to pick myself up off the floor and smile warmly, with a desire to resolve our differences. You would perhaps punch me once more out of frustration, but very soon, my non-violent reaction would be, "A clear sign to them (you) of their destruction."

Along those same lines, Romans 12:19-21reads, "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

Violence seems to feed on fear. Without the presence of fear, violence runs out of fuel.

The greatest real-life example I know of is the story of the four missionaries in Ecuador in... sometime in the 50's. I'm just speaking from memory here, so it'll be a loose summarization. "Shadow of the Almighty", "Through Gates of Splendor", "Jungle Pilot", and the film, "End of the Spear" are all good resources for this story. They're also dangerously life-altering. Be careful. Jim Elliot has become the most well-known of these missionaries, but all had a blazing passion for spreading the gospel. They had just made contact with a violent, unreached tribe called the Aucas. They were extending a hand of friendship and goodwill, trying to earn the Indians trust and also earn an opportunity to begin a ministry in their community. Bypassing all of the incidents that led to it, these four missionaries were killed by this Indian tribe on one of their first interactions with them. The key point of this story for my purpose, though, is their fearlessness. To my understanding, the missionaries had weapons with them. They were fired in the air when the attack was imminent, with hopes of scaring them with the noise, but they were never leveled on the Indians. They were fearless. Their lives' were not their own. They sought not a long life, but a full one. (oh.. check that out.. somebody should make a blog..) And in an act of even greater courage and fearlessness, the widows and families of these missionaries continued to pursue a ministry to the Aucas. What success in ministry would have been seen if the missionaries killed the Aucas who attacked them? I don't have an answer, but I can assume it wouldn't have been very well received by the Indians. Instead, the widows of these missionaries had a staggering ministry, and many of the indians in that community came to know Christ. Including the Indians who killed the missionaries. And what was agonizing to them, what led to the "defeat" of Satan's power in their lives, was the fearlessness displayed by the four missionaries. I won't get into any more details without the primary sources in front of me, but I think you should understand my point. Read those books. I'll mail you a copy if you give me your address.

Now, in applying this verse to modern wars, things get messy. I think a lot of people would agree with me that, in a missions ministry, using fear and violence is a very, very bad idea. It's obviously a poor way of showing Christ's love and sacrifice to the unreached. But what about governments and wars? Does the same approach have any standing in those circumstances? My answer: I am not sure. From a Christian perspective, should the approaches toward violence be any different? Abraham Kuyper is quoted as saying, "There is not a square inch in the whole domain of our human existence over which Christ, who is Sovereign over all, does not cry: 'Mine.'" I'm not sure that we should compartmentalize our different parts of life and society. Which would mean, in my mind, that our fearless love for Christ and for the unsaved should permeate every aspect of our life. Including wars, if you're in the military.

On the other hand, governments are instituted by God and given the authority to combat evil in Romans 13:3-4. "For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, for he is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoer." HOWEVER, Psalm 2:1-3 reads "Why do the nations conspire and the people’s plot in vain? The kings of the earth take their stand and the rulers gather together against the Lord and against his Anointed One. ‘Let us break their chains’, they say, ‘and throw off their fetters.’”

Hmmmmmm.... Any thoughts?

Some brief politics.. Just war theory. Begun back in the days of Cicero, and polished by Augustine and Aquinas, (smart people who lived a long time ago, and a thousand years apart) this has generally been viewed as a way of, well.. keeping war 'just'. Many Christians subscribe to this theory. I'm not sure if the United States ever made this a policy, but they most assuredly do not abide by this theory anymore. (there are 7 clauses in the theory that justify war. Google can tell you what they are.) There is much to say about the current wars, but I don't feel like unpacking that here.

Perhaps there is a time for both.. "A time to love, and a time to hate. A time for war, and a time for peace." Ecclesiastes 3:8

Some wars really make me squirm in my seat, wondering how we justified it and what we were accomplishing. But other wars make me wonder why we didn't act sooner? Although my personal leanings are tilting heavily toward pacifism, I cannot deny all war. Because the Bible does not. Doesn't it seem, though, that our world today fails to look at any alternatives to violent conflict? I don't believe war should be a first option, but a last resort, when all other options have been exhausted.

So, can I bring this back around to my original thought, or have my weeks of scattered thoughts gone too far off track? ...Today is Veteran's Day. Veteran's are courageous. Simple men do superfluous things when faced with violent adversity. But I hope that I would rather give my life trying to save a life, rather than trying to take a life. There may be a difference between my definitions of fearlessness and courage.

There are many, many more thoughts bouncing in my head about this whole issue. I need to do something with them, but this is not the time. I wish this was more polished, but hopefully it stirs some thought.I do draw my thoughts from resources, and if you ever want some good articles or books to read about this, just ask. I also enjoy meaningful conversations.

That is all.

Cellphone Insurance Claim Report

I sent this to Verizon. I will not deny that I needed the assistance of the thesaurus for several of the words. Namely, "superannuated" and "succor".

"My phone is superannuated. The upward directional button has been growing less and less responsive. Last night at work the phone was exposed to copious amounts of perspiration in my pocket, and the downward directional button is now thoroughly non-responsive. It is a vexing quandary of which I am in need of your succor in order to vanquish. I am much obliged."

I Wear My Sunglasses At Night

Since February, I have worn sunglasses a great deal. From the months of February to August, I'm not sure if there was a time I was outdoors when I didn't have sunglasses on. I define that as 'a great deal'. (on March 8, I briefly did not wear sunglasses because I dropped them in a parking lot and had to retrieve them.) I suppose it's not completely abnormal behavior to wear sunglasses, except for the fact that I noticed it. I also noticed that if I went indoors, I had regular glasses to put on. Iumnjmjjt (that is the result of me trying to get a piece of lint off of my ipad screen. I'll leave it so you can follow the trail that the lint led me on.) I would also leave my sunglasses on as long as was reasonably possible. Basically, once the door I walked through to enter the building was out of sight, I would switch over. And this is why I wore sunglasses so much.. well I think there were a couple reasons.

First, I wanted to hide myself. Eyes are amazing. They're a window to someone's heart, whether it's a heart of stone or a heart of flesh. I didn't want people to see my eyes. I'd even wear clear lenses, just to have some sort of buffer between my eyes and the world. I wanted to protect my shamming heart. I didn't want people to see my distrusting, angry, heart of stone. Although I've become a great actor, I knew my eyes would be my undoing in maintaining a strong facade.

Second, I wanted to defend myself. I realize the power and beauty of face-to-face conversation. I also realize that it's very telling, and that there is very little you hide with your words, body language, and eyes all speaking to the other person. I wanted to at least hide my eyes. I didn't want to get too close to anyone. At all. I also seldom made eye contact with people when I spoke with them. That's a lingering byproduct of my natural shyness, but it definitely climbed in this period.

Conclusion: God is good. This weekend I found myself intentionally taking my sunglasses off, so that I could be better read and understood when I spoke with people. That makes me smile. (smiling is a whole 'nuther issue) It was visible evidence for me of the heart-transformation God has begun performing on me, much to my delight, which then transfers into his delight!! I still wear prescription sunglasses and glasses because I need to see, and I have to wear them when I'm with Thelma, but if I don't need to have them on, they're generally not on. I also stopped wearing my ipod when I workout because I wanted to be open to conversation in the gym, and not shut myself out. Another small change..

I'm thrilled to see tangible changes in my life. Changes that have begun in my heart and are working out through my actions. God is very, very powerful. I wish there were more descriptive words for power. Omnipotent doesn't cut it for describing how radically he's changing my life.

Endnote.. In keeping with the tradition for creating this blog, I have a pulse. The other day, in my 35th hour without sleep and my 12th hour without food, I ran the fastest 5k I've run since I was 19. It's good to know I can do that, I guess.. God is very, very powerful.
"So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified." 1 Corinthians 9:26-27

"I don't want to be a great writer but I long to express myself-just as I've often longed to be able to sit down at a big pipe organ and express myself." "I want to share the stories that are unfolding all around us. Mine would only be attempts, to be sure, but these attempts plus helpful criticism from others may allow me eventually to be able to tell stories with the flavor that can come only from an eyewitness." -Nate Saint

It astounds me that sometimes other people can articulate my thoughts better than I myself am able to. Thank you, Mr. Saint.

It Was a Dark And Stormy Night

By: Snoopy

Part I
It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out!
A door slammed. The maid screamed.
Suddenly, a pirate ship appeared on the horizon!
While millions of people were starving, the king lived
in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was
growing up.

Part II

A light snow was falling, and the little girl with the
tattered shawl had not sold a violet all day.
At that very moment, a young intern at City Hospital was
making an important discovery. The mysterious patient in
Room 213 had finally awakened. She moaned softly.
Could it be that she was the sister of the boy in Kansas
who loved the girl with the tattered shawl who was the
daughter of the maid who had escaped from the pirates?

The intern frowned.
"Stampede!" the foreman shouted, and forty thousand head
of cattle thundered down on the tiny camp. The two men
rolled on the ground grappling beneath the murderous hooves.
A left and a right. A left. Another left and right. An
uppercut to the jaw. The fight was over. And so the ranch
was saved.
The young intern sat by himself in one corner of the
coffee shop. he had learned about medicine, but more
importantly, he had learned something about life.

THE END

Lukewarm Christianity

I enjoy stimulating conversation.
These only scratch the surface of my thoughts.
First, I am not implying that I am not, nor have I ever been a lukewarm Christian. Most of my 25 years on earth could be categorized as just that.

I hesitate to write my thoughts sometimes, because I imagine they're riddled with theological flaws and errancies, but it's my thoughts. If only I had graduated from Bible college, huh? right..

Revelation 3:15-16 "I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth."

I have a difficult time explaining my frustration with lukewarm Christianity without either feeling and sounding very arrogant or feeling very much like a hypocrite.

This is what I've noticed in my own life, in regards to my often putrid temperature. First, this is how I define lukewarm in my life: I go to church. I sing. I occasionally read the Bible. I pray, if I'm desperate. But my heart is closed. I've decided that I know what I need more than God does, and he's taken a back seat in my life.

If I try to share the gospel with someone in my life when I'm lukewarm, I fall flat on my face. Because the words that come out of my mouth are empty. And they're only my words. I've been spit out, and I'm not allowing the Holy Spirit to be the power behind my words and actions.

When I'm living a lukewarm life and an unsaved person observes me, they don't see anything in my life that they need or even want. It's the most miserable way to live, so it can't be very appealing.

There was a card my youth pastor gave me when I was 17, I think. I still have it.
"The happiest people in this world are those who are children of God striving to be like Jesus.
The second happiest people are those who are pagans living for themselves.
The most miserable way to live is to be a child of God and be living like the world."

Lukewarm Christianity is probably one of Satan's most powerful weapons. I've often felt like I did more harm than good, because of how spineless my testimony was.

I'm done. Just some thoughts.

"Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel." Philippians 1:27

Thelma, my living organism.

My beloved scooter has a name. Thelma. That's implying that there will someday be a Louise to join Thelma on her many adventures. Brady.
I found out two weeks ago that Thelma is not just a scooter. She's alive. She had been really feeling under the weather in the mornings, and I was getting pretty concerned for her. I changed her oil, cleaned out her carburetor, replaced her air filter, and some other little things, but she couldn't kick her flu. Then, one day, her fever broke, and she was 'right as rain.' I haven't used that term in a coon's age. There's another one!
She just started taking off with the same youthful vibrance I had grown to love over the summer. It's great to have Thelma back to her old self, but as it grows colder, I fear her flu-like symptoms may return, and I'll need to let her sleep off the winter months. It will pain me to say goodbye for so many months, but love is letting go, and I know that decision will be best for both of us. The springtime reunion will be oh-so-sweet..

Desiring God

http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/conference-messages/think-hard-stay-humble-the-life-of-the-mind-and-the-peril-of-pride

The link above is video or audio of the Francis Chan session at the Desiring God conference. If for nothing else, watch it because he's engaging and has awesome humor.

The wealth of information will, Lord-willing, come through my thoughts and actions for quite some time, so I won't go into much detail on the messages. I will say that the Francis Chan message was powerful. It was convicting, challenging, and encouraging. I recommend it. I also recommend his books. I think I already have in a previous blog. I recommend them again.

It was a joy to be able to see Brady and spend some time with him and his family, as well as Matt coming over. It was fun to endure his visit.

God is up to something in my life. Prayer is more real to me than it's ever been, and I can feel God's leading in my life, which is something I've been resistant to for longer than I care to think about.

The Little Scooter That Could

I'm going to provide a little background to what led up to my last week. Earlier this summer I was in downtown Fargo. I was headed home when I saw a guy parking his bike, clearly loaded down for a cross-country trip. A bicycle trip has been a fleeting desire of mine, and I like people, so I stopped to ask him about his trip. Rochester, NY to Seattle, WA. I was impressed. Well my new friend Scott ended up crashing on my couch that night, and by the time he left the next morning, I knew I needed to experience this sort of travel. I have a bike, but it's not designed for cross-country travel. I have a car, but that's boring. At the beginning of the summer, though, I made a brilliant investment in a 49cc Honda Ruckus scooter. Scott actually knew someone who took trips on his Ruckus, and provided a few links for inspiration. At that point, I began planning. I had a wedding in MI to attend in August, and in my state of unemployment, I figured I could get the time off to make the trip on a scooter. The other details of planning, ordering gear and supplies, etc. aren't interesting, except that outdoorgb.com has the cheapest camping gear I've found online.
So, on Sunday, August 22, at 7am I left my Minneapolis apartment, headed east. I nearly decided to drive, and, if it had been raining that morning, I probably would have. My society-driven desire for speed and efficiency nearly prevented a beautiful experience. I'm not going to give an account of my entire trip, but instead document some observations I made along the way.

-I had maps, but my route was virtually unplanned. I took the road less traveled, and we know how that turns out.
-passed 2 vehicles on the trip, both of which were broken down. All other vehicles passed me.
-every time a convertible with kids passed me, the kids turned around to watch me. I would wave. They would turn around to tell the front seat I waved, and turn around again. This occurred three different times.
-dump trucks always smelled unpleasant
-skunks smell like number 2 pencil erasers
-the gps is another tool that is pulling us away from society. I enjoyed asking for directions, and people enjoyed helping. I also noticed that younger people aren't so hot at giving directions. Except for the one that suggested mapquest. If anyone is looking for a gps, I have a garmin I'm now selling cheap.
-I camped at an RV park. The campers had satellite feeds. Nobody talked to me. Nobody was even outside their RV. They managed to move the suburbs to a campground.
-I stayed at Northland Intl. My first night. Met some cool people who have a desire to serve God and are actually doing it. It's invigorating.
-I liked my time in Petoskey. A neat downtown with a cool coffee shop. The locals were a generally friendly bunch.
-Many people think what I'm doing is cool, and even express a desire to do it. Why don't they? Because it's not practical, efficient, fast, or normal. PTL I'm weird.
-The Mackinac Bridge doesn't allow scooters to cross. They do offer a shuttle for $2, though.
-It became chilly in the U.P. Bikers were donning cold-weather gear as I scooted on past, shivering.
-If you see a tiny sign in the U.P. That says 'old cook's cemetery', pull off. You will not regret it.
-I'm exposed. I'm not tucked into a car with a/c. I'm dependent on people to get across a bridge, to find food, to find fuel, to find a place to sleep. I love it, and they like to help.
-Listened to a sermon on idols the day before I left.. When your mind begins to wander, what does it wander to? There's a good chance that's your idol. Jesus is the only person that cannot be idolized too much. Hopeingod.org probably has the sermon.
-Michigan's terrible roads lived up to their reputation and provided me with a flat tire near Petoskey. I bought a spare tire in GR, but the plug is still keeping air.
-I like traveling through the quiet countryside, but I can't envision myself living there. My heart is in the city. I like people.
-at exactly 1000 miles into my trip, my scooter got sick at Brady's house. I'm guessing I over-filled the oil, and it made the carburetor dirty. Thanks to Brandon and Brady for their help.
-from Ludington to GR I didn't look at a map. I started going south and east, knowing I'd get there eventually. That was a lot of fun.
-I saw Josh after two years and met Popy for the first time. I smiled.
-I was in the wedding of Jasper and Sarah because I was friends with Sarah. It was a joy to prove my hypothesis that it is possible for a guy and a girl to coexist as friends without inflicting emotional pain on each other.
-Two ways to sabotage a friendship with a girl: tell them you're interested in them or tell them you're not interested in them. Somehow those both end badly, but if you never say anything about it, things are great. Relationships fascinate me.

Some facts about my Ruckus.
-I care about my Ruckus. Very much. At a restaurant in Ludington, I asked the hostess to seat me near the window so I could keep an eye on my girlfriend, who stays outside. She looked outside, looked at me, and didn't talk to me again.
-My scooter is 7 cc's stronger than your average chainsaw
-My scooter operated at full throttle for 6 days of travel with no trouble at all. No oil or coolant decrease. No tire pressure decrease. Nothing.
-This trip doubled the mileage I had on my scooter.
-It was 1617 miles of total scooting.
-The total cost of fuel was $39.29
-The total gallons of fuel used was 13.635
- yeah.
-that's right.
-here it comes..
-119 miles per gallon.
-I have never had a stronger attachment to a machine than to my scooter. She slowly struggled up hills, but never stopped. I pushed her as hard as she could go, and she never gave me so much as a sputter. I'm looking at her outside right now, waiting to take me anywhere. I'll admit that by the third day, I was talking to her. She doesn't have a name, so it's not too creepy. Yet.

Lord-willing, this will not be the last trip I take on this. I spent a good deal of my time thinking about a ministry-driven trip I could take. With Brady. It's very feasible. I'm going to pray about it, and see what doors God opens and closes for my future.

The best part of my trip. People. Over this summer, I learned to fly. When I fly, I'm alone. This scooter trip was so much cooler in that respect, because all along the way, I was meeting people, having great conversation, and hopefully planting seeds for God's kingdom. At the same time, though, I was provided with hours of reflection on the open road, provided that I wasn't terrified because my backroad turned into a highway all of a sudden.

I started this blog to document events that made me feel like I was experiencing all I could in life. I have a pulse.

The Day I Ran Away (For No Known Reason)

I just moved to Minneapolis a few days ago. I have a former Vice President teaching a class, I can scoot anywhere I need to go in under 5 min, and God is here. It's going to be a good experience. More on that later. In the process of unpacking, I unearthed some high school writing projects tucked away in a binder. I'm kinda fond of these, so I thought I'd post them on here. This is my first one, documenting the day I ran away from home.

Knowing it would not be easy for me to get up at 0430 hours, I set three alarms to go off five minutes apart, with the loudest one being last. Fortunately, the last one jolted me up at 0440 hours. Immediately after fumbling around to turn off the alarm, I checked the weather outside my window to see if I should even try to go. The forecast predicted rain all day Thursday and there had been a thunderstorm that night so I was a little concerned. It was still raining a little, so I decided not to ride my bike. I lived (barely) to regret that decision. I quickly jumped into the layers of clothes I had laid out the previous night and started to make my bed. I decided to manipulate my pillows so it looked like I was still sleeping and I laid a note I had written where my head would be.
At exactly 0500 hours, I shut the door to my house and headed out. Here's how well I had my day planned. When I reached the end of my driveway, I didn't know if I should go left or right. I went west out of my driveway and every turn I made during that trip was completely unplanned. At 0600 hours, I ate my breakfast of half a donut and a couple gulps of water under a building overhang in a park. Yummy. I kept walking down 40th Avenue until I turned east on Chicago Drive. I learned that the shoulder of Chicago Drive has a lot of gravel so when I reached downtown Hudsonville at 0700 hours, I dumped all the rocks our of my shoes. It was by Gemmens Hardware that I made my first human contact, a guy waiting for a sale to start. He said, "Hi". I said, "Hey". That was it. I walked back to Service Lane and continued my trek. There's a real nice Prowler at VerHage Motors, by the way. The brake discs are rusted, though.
At the intersection of Chicago Drive, 28th Avenue, and a few other streets, I decided to take VanBuren. My main motive for that was because I didn't know what was on that street. I wish I hadn't cared. VanBuren, as it turns out, is a road approximately two million miles long that is completely farm land. The only roads more boring are through New Mexico and Nevada. To top off the great scenery, it seemed like there was roadkill every 20 feet. After I had been on VanBuren for about two hours, I came to an intersection that I had not expected to see, VanBuren and 44th. Well, I got this ridiculous idea in my head to walk to Teenworks so I started out on 44th.
After about 10 seconds of walking through the grass my feet were soaked and that's where my day started to go downhill. I decided to take 8th Avenue to 56th. On 8th Avenue I picked up a walking stick so I'd look even more pathetic. 56th is probably as long as VanBuren but it has a lot more interesting things. Huge ponds, suspicious looking horses, and dogs that look like they're going to kill you until they run into their electric fence, thank goodness. By the time I reached Wilson, I had no motivation to walk as far as Teenworks. It was almost 1200 hours and that half a donut from breakfast was beginning to wear off a little. I decided to check out the happenings at the mall. First, I stopped behind the old day care center at 56th and Wilson to sit down and dump more rocks out of my shoes. It was the first time I had sat down in six hours.
In a little bit I had reached Rivertown Crossings and had my second human contact, a lady that gave me a weird look. No words were said. I had planned ahead, expecting my shoes to get wet, so at the mall I changed into another pair of shoes and socks I had bought. I sat down in the food court and noticed two things. First, every muscle in my body ached like I've never felt. Especially my shoulders and left knee. Secondly, I noticed that the Mexican food restaurant in the food court is operated by Orientals, and the Chinese food restaurant is operated by Hispanics. After I listened to a few of my Cosby cd's, allowing my muscles to relax, I decided to start up my trek again.
I picked up my staff where I had left it in the bushes outside the mall and decided where to go. I already knew my knee wouldn't last very long so I decided to take Wilson to the Grandville Library. This is here my story draws to a close. Just after I left the mall, it began raining for the first time since early in the morning. I thought walking with an umbrella and a staff looked really weird so I had to ditch the staff. If it would have only looked a little weird, I would have kept it. But I looked really strange. A little ways from the library, my other knee gave out so I decided that the library would be the final stop in my day. I called my house from the pay phone inside and asked someone to come pick my up. My knees have never hurt worse. When I got home, I iced them for three hours so I could fall asleep. Later, I drove the route that I walked and figured that I walked 17 miles.
Now, the moral of the story. Well... there isn't one. First of all, I would not call what I did "running away". Running away is a defiance of your parent's authority, without plans to return. I told my parents at the beginning of the year that someday in the year, I would "run away" for a day, but be back that night. I would not suggest doing what I did unless you tell your parents beforehand and have their consent. It was a fun experience that I won't soon forget, but my knees won't forget it either.


So there it is. high school writing. Back when I was young and naive and thought a long walk would be one of the tougher things I would experience. Devil's Gulch blew that out of the water. (yes, a gulge. a gorge and gulch combined) And I just finished reading 'Between a Rock and a Hard Place' by Aron Ralston, which is the best survival story I've ever read, and a tad more intriguing than my drivel I put on here. Well if you've read this far, I hope you enjoyed it.

Summer Reading List

I read a few books this summer. They were good. I suggest them. First, any Pearls Before Swine comic collection. Hilarious. Just a couple pages each night before bed helped me fall asleep with a smile on my face. Second, Redeeming Love, by Francine Rivers. This was gut wrenching. A modern take on the story of Hosea, based during the CA gold rush. It's more of a girl book, but we could use a whole lot more Hosea-type guys, so it's worth reading. Another book: Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I can't really describe this book in a sentence. It's good. How was that? It's a challenging book, written exegetically, not just some guy with some cute ideas. It confronts the lukewarm Christianity that is embedded in our country. The final book I'd suggest is Forgotten God, also by Chan. The Holy Spirit is the forgotten God the title refers to. Both saddening and encouraging to see how little we keep God, but how unbelievably capable and powerful he can be, if we just ask. Every chapter is awesome, and I'm sure I'll put a section that especially convicted me on here before too long. A fantastic book. Highly recommend A++++++++.

That is all. This weekend I move my belongings into my tiny apartment in Minneapolis, but remain in Fargo for a little bit to wrap up flight school. praise the Lord for working everything out to allow that opportunity. And I am eagerly gearing up for my next major pulse check in the end of August. God is good. All the time. Even when I don't think so.

I have a pulse

As I stated before, one of my purposes for this thing was to keep myself accountable in the area of living life. To make sure I was doing things in my life that were.. I suppose.. worth writing about. In my mind, at least.
I think the first such experience occurred on Wednesday, July 21, when I soloed in a plane for the first time. My lack of employment has turned out to be a blessing, as I have had the time to learn to fly. I have no goal, purpose, or plan for learning to fly other than simply knowing how to fly. My brother has been a pilot for 15 years, and through some of his connections, I am able to borrow a plane for free, which is wonderful. Last Saturday I began lessons and 5 days later, the instructor got out and I did some takeoffs and landings. It was pretty neat. I'm nowhere near completely licensed yet, (just a student pilot) but I hope to be there by the time college starts this fall. I don't want to just exist, I want to live life. And I don't want to just live, I want to experience life. Right now, I feel like I'm doing that. And I praise and thank God for the abilities and opportunities to enjoy his creation. That is all.

Inanimate Love

I think the vast majority of Christians have a deeper love for some inanimate object than they do for God. I do. Several, probably, but the first one that came to mind was my guitar. I would sooner play my guitar before praying or feasting on God's word. When I bumped my guitar neck on my desk, I felt awful. Yet I premeditatedly sin against God on a daily basis with little to no remorse. I don't have any solutions to this problem, other than prayer to God that this problem in my life changes. James 1, I think it is, seems to allude to his power and ability to bring about that change in me. That is all.

Bed Rest

Hmm, on my ipad I can only write these in an HTML format. I said that like I have a clue what I'm talking about.. The couple things I don't like about this ipad keyboard is the auto-fill functions. There aren't enough. The apostrophe is on a alternate screen, so if i type 'thats', theres no apostrophe. It also doesn't capitalize a stand-alone 'i'. Id rather it did. Ill also go back to adding apostrophes.
Anyway, I also discovered that you can add titles to these. I like that. This title wasn't very clever. But allow me to explain! Two days ago I began my illustrious career as a lab rat. Basically. Im not entirely sure what's going on, but this place tests prescription drugs on me, and I allegedly get money for it. They're not new drugs, though. It's drugs that have lost their patent, and we test the 'off-brand' drugs to make sure they have exactly the same treatment. So we take the pills, and then the blood draws begin. In the last 4 hours I've had my blood drawn about 10 times, with at least 5 more draws to come. Praise the Lord I'm not diabetic. I wouldn't have the patience for that. Or a military career. Another downside is the diet and routine. I'm very hungry. I haven't eaten in 18 hours. And they draw a ton of blood. Doesn't seem like a healthy thing to do, but I'm not the doctor. And the bed. Goodness. I have, no exaggeration, spent about 47 of the last 48 hours in a bed. And there are numerous times throughout the day when you have to just lay on your back. No books, no electronics, just lay there. On your back. Due to a back much older than I am, I don't fall asleep on my back easily. But if I lay there long enough (23 hours, for instance), I fall asleep. And I'm hooked up to a portable ECG thing around the clock, but I'm not sure what that's all about. I hope I get paid for this.
And I now wonder, "John, who cares? Nobody is going to read this." For Some reason it doesn't really bother me. Plenty of people write journals that nobody reads, but its' benefits are out of this world. Im done. The nurses are on there way for another ECG reading. I'd rather have food.

I have a little thing for comic strips. I don't know when it began, except that we received a daily newspaper when I was young, and I read the comics. I know my dad enjoys them, and often uses them as illustrations in sermons, so maybe that's where my interest came. Anyway, Calvin & Hobbes is far and away my favorite comic strip. One of the neatest gifts I've received was the Calvin & Hobbes anthology. Every strip. Ever. If you ever want to borrow them, let me know. Bill Watterson named his two main characters after John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes, well known theologians and philosophers. I just saw this picture on facebook and immediately stole it, because it makes me smile. And some people say I don't do that too often. I just thought I'd post it on here for no-one to see. I've mentioned that I started a blog to a couple people, but I have refrained from giving out the url, as I find some humor in the fact that nobody reads it. Maybe someday.. It's like an anti-facebook for me. Rather than everyone seeing what I think or do, no-one does. And maybe this is better. Blogging, that is. For one, it's more intentional, all the way around. The posts are more thought out, and people actually have to seek out the blog, not just passively browse the facebook homepage. I fear sharing too many opinions, though, so I'll stop. I like comic strips. Facebook is death for intentional, close friendships.

Have you ever wondered where trains come from? I mean, you see the train rolling down the tracks, but there's gotta be some place out there where the attach all those train cars, right? I'm pleased to tell you that I now know where that place is. Two blocks North of my house. I know this because of the constant subtle sounds of train cars smashing together, creaking and scraping along the tracks. Trains also operate 24/7, in case you were wondering. It is nice that the trains are usually moving slowly, though, so their melodic sounds aren't too loud. But let me tell you a little more about the rest of my neighborhood. A quarter-mile South of my house is the busiest train line in the United States. No exaggeration. The railroad employees consider it a point of pride. Directly above me is the final approach for the busiest airport and Air National Guard base in the state of North Dakota. Directly below me is the fight club for the neighborhood cats. They sneak in through a hole in the foundation and seem to throw each other up against my duct work for an extra-stylish k.o. I also have a streetlight directly outside my bedroom window that seems to continually grow brighter. Astronomer's are predicting that when it goes supernova, which should be soon, my house will be sucked into the black hole that is created. I sleep in my garage now.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." Theodore Roosevelt - April 23, 1910 - Paris, France

This segment of the speech speaks for itself. May we never be considered among the cold and timid souls. Life, service for God and his kingdom, is designed to be the greatest adventure we experience. I'm excited.

"What is written in these pages I suppose will someday be read by others than myself. For this reason I cannot hope to be absolutely honest in what is herein recorded, for the hypocrisy of this shamming heart will ever be putting on a front and dares not write what is actually found in its abysmal depths. Yet, I pray Lord, that you will make these notations to be as nearly true to fact as is possible, that I may know my own heart and be able to definitely pray regarding my gross, though often unrecognized, inconsistencies. I do this because I have been aware that my quiet time with God is not what it should be. These remarks are to be written from fresh, daily thoughts given from God, in meditation on His word." -written by Jim Elliot on January 18, 1948

I write this quote at the beginning of my journal books, and it seemed fitting for this, as well. This 'blog', however, will come no where near the personal nature of my journals. Although I sometimes wonder how our world would be if all of our pains and struggles and guilts were written on our shirts for everyone to see, I am not brave enough to begin that here.

Why am I beginning a blog? Good question. I, for some time, have viewed blogs in a kind of negative light. It seemed to be highly opinionated people who would rant at the air, and most likely never doing any real action toward their desires. It also seems that blogs are usually written with a pessimistic air about them (except for the blog belonging to Stephen Pastis). Maybe that's just the few I've perused, though. That is not my desire. In fact, I don't plan to share any strong opinions on here.

I am beginning a blog to keep myself accountable. To ensure that I have a pulse. What I mean by that is that I don't want my experiences as a 21 year old to be the apex of my living. I want to document the more interesting things I do in my life. For myself, and for whoever cares to maybe draw some inspiration and live life. The url for this blog is drawn from another Jim Elliot quote. "God, I pray Thee, light these idle sticks of my life and may I burn up for Thee. Consume my life, my God, for it is Thine. I seek not a long life, but a full one, like you, Lord Jesus." That is my desire. I don't want to settle down, I don't want to take root somewhere. I don't want to be the follower of Christ who hugs the balance beam of life for 80 years and jumps off at the end, thinking they deserve a gold medal for their performance. (youtube search Francis Chan) I'm sure that over time I'll explain more some of the stories, people, and plans that have driven me to begin this.

I am also beginning a blog because I love to write. Really. I have often thought that a newspaper column would be a lot of fun, and since the newspaper industry is imploding, I thought I'd try this. I feel that writing is very beneficial, and if you ever see any grammatical errors, I invite you to correct me. I am always trying to learn this confusing language.

I won't say much more or set any standards for this, because this could just be the one and only post I ever write. I do have a segment of a speech that I will probably share soon, but I'm on my way to a baseball game. Why? Because I like baseball. And I'd probably just sit at home and watch a movie, otherwise. It's also a beautiful evening and a great excuse to jump on my scooter.